Memoirs of an Anti-Geisha Manifesto Pranks Press
Your Source For Meeting A Nice, Subservient, Asian Bride
Home
Harem of Angst
Testimonials
About the Mamasan
FUQ
Join Our Harem

We'll provide everything you deserve
Harem of Angst

Toy



A cute, petite 25-year-old who sports a bright yellow mohawk, Toy may look a bit like a toy herself, but she bristles at the suggestion that she's anyone's plaything. Although small in stature, she announces confidently that she's an expert kickboxer who learned the deadly art from the same school which graduated Jackie Chan. And she's been known to intimidate troublesome musicians in her combo by proudly wearing her workout robe and third-degree black belt to band practice. "One night after a gig," she recalls, "I was loading my Les Paul back into the trunk of my '66 Mustang when these two really big guys tried to jump me. I'm not sure if they wanted the car, or the guitar, or both, but, uh...." Toy pauses and smiles mischievously. "Well, they didn't get anything -- anything at all. In fact, one of them -- the guy who was holding the gun -- he won't be `getting anything' for a long, long time, if you understand what I mean."

Ironically, it was to escape such violence that Toy relocated to America several years ago. "I was in Tiennamin Square when the fighting broke out," she says solemnly. "I wasn't a student at the time, but I was having an affair two of the teachers -- a married couple, neither of whom was aware that I was sleeping with their spouse -- and I'd just left from a tryst with the wife. I was on my scooter when the shooting started, and a volley of machinegun bullets shattered my rearview mirror so I couldn't see what was behind me. Soldiers were blocking off the street, but I got lucky and reached one of their barricades right when some bottle-throwing students pushed it over. I managed to jump the wreckage with my scooter, but something exploded beside me when I landed, and I got cut really bad by shrapnel. It took eight stitches to close up the cut, once I finally found a doctor who would treat me."

When asked to show the scar, Toy frowns. "I can't do that. It's in a personal place, and I'm a very private person. I'm just glad that the last time I ever slept with my lover in China, I didn't have this awful scar on my body."

BigBadChineseMama.com relaunched in association with Asian Loop. Copyright 2008